Transactional Analysis

Make sense of conversations that keep repeating

You may notice that certain interactions leave you feeling small, defensive, responsible for everyone else or unable to say what you need. Even when you intend to respond differently, a familiar pattern can take over. Exploring how these exchanges unfold can help you understand both the immediate conversation and the beliefs you bring to it.

Transactional Analysis, often called TA, offers a framework for looking at communication, relationships and patterns learned through life. One of its best-known ideas uses the terms Parent, Adult and Child to describe different patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving. These are concepts within a therapeutic model, rather than separate personalities. I would use them as a shared language for exploring your experience, while checking whether the ideas feel useful and understandable to you.

BACP’s guide to therapy approaches includes an introduction to transactional analysis.

Illustration of connected figures representing communication and relationships.

What we might explore

Recognising familiar patterns in the way you communicate or respond to others.
Understanding expectations or beliefs that influence your relationships and choices.
Considering how to express needs and respond with greater awareness.

What sessions may involve

We might look at a recent exchange and explore what each person said, what you felt and what you understood the interaction to mean. If helpful, we could consider which TA concepts illuminate the pattern and what another response might look like. We may also explore messages you learned earlier in life and whether they still fit your present circumstances. You would help shape the focus and goals of the work.

For another way to explore recurring thoughts and responses, you can read about CBT. Questions about boundaries and confidence may also be relevant to personal development counselling.

Does the “Child” state mean that I am being childish?

It is a term within the model for patterns connected with earlier experiences, feelings and responses. I would use this language carefully, without turning it into a judgement about you or a fixed label.

Begin with a pattern you want to understand

Get in touch to discuss your concerns and whether this approach may fit. I’m Alan Jones, a qualified counsellor. Learn more about me and my approach on the About Alan page.

Enquire about counselling Get to know Alan

Back to services